Sunday, April 25, 2010

"Time to get ole painless out of the bag."

The movie tagline was: "Nothing like it has ever been on this earth." They were talking about the extraterrestrial hunter, but they could just as easily have meant the manportable minigun, nicknamed Ole Painless.

Yep, ever since 1986, nothing else has said, "You don't want none of this" like a personal minigun. It has featured in the dreams of countless fanboys. And now anyone can have one in all its full-auto glory!

Well, anyone with $3500.00 who isn't picky about the fact it only shoots plastic BB's... You can get your own airsoft minigun. (video at the link) No, it's not quite as cool as the real deal, but it is somewhat less expensive, you don't have to pay the additional Federal tax for a Class III weapons license, and the BATF won't be knocking on your door for an unannounced inspection -- probably.

Has anyone ever bought one of these? Yes.

Above is one of the actual prop miniguns from Predator for comparison. Cool, huh? Sadly, the airsoft minigun is magazine fed. Although judging by that last video link, someone's managed to rig a feed. Can you imagine the virtually limitless ammo of a backpack like this filled with plastic BB's? Also, I hear you have to keep the bursts under 5 seconds, or it may blow a fuse. I swear, airsoft guns are super finicky. This is why they don't get along well with me.

In a movie extra that's available on some Predator DVD's, Jesse Ventura describes the minigun as a "chainsaw that spits bullets." Of course, there's the legendary scene in the movie in which the team unleashes a mad minute of intense firepower that levels a good portion of the rain forest. So, could a minigun really do that? In a word: yes. Thank god for Mythbusters...
The minigun makes a return in the new Predators out this July.

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