Thursday, May 13, 2010


"Don't judge me."

"Too late."

These words passed between my firefighter friend and me last Friday as we settled in to watch Iron Man 2. We were enjoying the previews: The Last Airbender and Inception both looked good, and I was eagerly awaiting the mysterious Super 8. But I was assaulted by The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

Ugh. Like it wasn't already difficult enough to hold down my lunch of movie theater nachos and "cheese" sauce...

I can't blame my firefighting pal -- he was sucked in by his Twihard new wife. That happens. And while I'll never let him live it down, I understand how it is with long love. He's got an excuse.

Not so the 19-year-old kid at my dojo who recently -- and loudly -- proclaimed in the locker room that there are only two movies he wants to see all Summer: Twilight, and The Last Dance. I was disgusted, and in front of everyone, I demanded he turn in his man card immediately.

I'm not without my romantic side. I have a soft spot for The Princess Bride and Say Anything... But this crap is ridiculous.

Finally, a note to Hollywood: to be a real saga, you need to have some some beautiful women, derring-do, revenge, a tragic ending, a holmgang, and most of all, some Vikings. Get it straight.

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