Wussies...

"Don't judge me."

"Too late."

These words passed between my firefighter friend and me last Friday as we settled in to watch Iron Man 2. We were enjoying the previews: The Last Airbender and Inception both looked good, and I was eagerly awaiting the mysterious Super 8. But I was assaulted by The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

Ugh. Like it wasn't already difficult enough to hold down my lunch of movie theater nachos and "cheese" sauce...

I can't blame my firefighting pal -- he was sucked in by his Twihard new wife. That happens. And while I'll never let him live it down, I understand how it is with long love. He's got an excuse.

Not so the 19-year-old kid at my dojo who recently -- and loudly -- proclaimed in the locker room that there are only two movies he wants to see all Summer: Twilight, and The Last Dance. I was disgusted, and in front of everyone, I demanded he turn in his man card immediately.

I'm not without my romantic side. I have a soft spot for The Princess Bride and Say Anything... But this crap is ridiculous.

Finally, a note to Hollywood: to be a real saga, you need to have some some beautiful women, derring-do, revenge, a tragic ending, a holmgang, and most of all, some Vikings. Get it straight.