Friday, June 17, 2005

Here Comes the Bride

Tom Cruise proposed to Katie Holmes. Ordinarily, I wouldn't post celebrity "news," but I think this presents me an opportunity to bring my scientology rants to a closure. [I'm not looking to be sued by those litigious kooks.]

Katie, please don't do it. I'm pretty sure one of the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship is that your boyfriend makes you join his cult. Ok, even if he isn't forcing you, don't you think those scientologists are a little freaky (sex rituals or no)? You don't need them if you want freaky. You're a good Catholic girl. Catholics are plenty freaky: relics, charismatics, exorcisms, and that whole transubstantiation thing. But at least we have 2000 years of tradition to support it.

And why be a doormat? Make Tom convert to Catholicism.

After all, isn't Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve so much more beautiful than getting strapped to a buzzing machine to be "audited?"

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