GI Joe: Resolute DVD coming soon

I didn't see GI Joe: Resolute when it was aired on Adult Swim, but it has a fantastic pedigree and awesome word of mouth. The DVD is being released next month, and I can't wait!

Here's the trailer for it.

The feel is much grittier than the old cartoons. As you can plainly see, people don't get shot out of their airplanes and parachute to safety. Nope, bullets and blades word very effectively in this cartoon.

The story was written by Joe neophyte and Badass poet Warren Ellis. 'Nuff said.

"Even a Man Who is Pure of Heart...

And says his prayers at night..."







So they've had Benicio Del Toro's take on The Wolf Man on the shelf for who knows how long. And word comes now that it will be released on February 12, 2010. (Valentine's Day Weekend???)

But here's the trailer.

OK, it might excite some of you and elicit retching from others... But come on... Compare that werewolf transformation with this tripe. Blech! The only nice thing I can say is that the patently obvious CGI at least looks like a real giant wolf. (Come here, boy. Let me pet your glistening coat. Wait; could you take that the wrong way?)

Werewolves are all tooth and claw, fangy predators ready to have their amoral, instinctive ways with your civilized flesh. At least I'm getting that vibe from the Del Toro movie. All I'm getting from the latest installment in the Twilight Saga is an urge to give in to my daughter's demands for a puppy.

And for the record: I'm quite sick of Vampires.

"...may become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms

and the autumn moon is bright."

Patrick Swayze

I want to say a few words about a decent human being.

Was Patrick Swayze the greatest actor ever? No. But by all accounts, he was as nice a guy as you'd ever want to meet. And he managed to be one of the most versatile actors of his generation. Here's a guy who could play the romantic lead, the tough action hero, and a dramatic leading man and be convincing in any of them.

Was he in great movies? No. But he was in some memorable ones, and some culturally relevant ones.

Dirty Dancing
Ghost
The Outsiders
Uncommon Valor
Red Dawn
Roadhouse
Point Break
To Wong Foo...
Donnie Darko

I take that back, one or two of those probably do qualify as great.

Roadhouse is a cheesy movie, no doubt. But he took the part because he loved martial arts and wanted to showcase his skills in that movement discipline too. And as cheesy as some of those lines can be ("I want you to be nice... Until it's time not to be nice"), they ring true for martial artists. Swayze was a martial artist almost as long as he was a dancer. He took up karate because he was being picked on by bullies who made fun of his mother's dance lessons. He showed them. His discipline -- a product as much of the dance as the martial arts -- kept him going and working through a horrific and painful fight with cancer. The man was a fighter, God love him.

There's a nice obituary in Entertanment Weekly that quotes his co-stars over the years saying all the best things about him. But the quotes ring true. They seemed to really love him.

But the best thing in the article is a picture of Patrick Swayze caught in mid-ballet leap -- tights and slippers -- in 1976. The look of bliss on his face is transcendent. He is one with the universe in his happiness. If you don't honestly look at the picture and smile, you're missing a soul.

Watch it one more time, and try hard not to be jaded. The man could dance.

If you can find them; maybe you can hire...

The A-Team movie is in production.

You can pick your jaws up off the floor -- they'll be there again soon enough.

Who's in this?

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith (I didn't realize Hannibal was just his nickname...) = Liam Neeson
Templeton "Faceman" Peck = Bradley Cooper
"Howling Mad" Murdock = Sharlto Copley
B.A. Baracus = Quinton "Rampage" Jackson

Oh, and they signed Jessica Biel too.

In case you're wondering, the script is straight action; not campy fun. I guess that means that bullets actually hit people and car crash victims don't walk away from multiple roll-overs. They're filming in Vancouver.

I assumed the A-Team isn't a Vietnam era unit, but what's with the international cast? Will they remain American Special Forces? I realize it's not like the TV show ever made much sense, but what's the link to the term "A-Team" otherwise?

So?

So... If you've been reading my blog with any regularty, then you've probably got some curiousity about my reception of GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

Do I think it jumped the shark?

Gloriously so. And then it was stabbed repeatedly by Snake Eyes before being burned by red and blue laser beams of insanity.

Let me digress for a moment... At the Wisconsin State Fair, reportedly, they are introducing the wonderful new snack of Chocolate-covered bacon -- on a stick. Clearly, this treat is not for everyone. It is way too much of several good things: chocolate, bacon, and the convenience of a stick. Over-the-top, certainly. Some will stay away because they have the good sense to know the snack is bad for them. Others will tempt fate, taste it, and decide chocolate-covered bacon on a stick is not for them. Some will say, "I like chocolate" or "I like bacon" but decide chocolate-covered bacon is not for them. Many will enjoy the snack for what it is and then quickly move on.

Of course, you've guessed by now that the GI Joe movie is very much like chocolate-covered bacon. According to the box office numbers in already, people are tasting chocolate-covered bacon on a stick this weekend. From what I've heard, the buzz is good: people are enjoying it. There are naysayers. I'm not one of them. I know chocolate-covered bacon isn't good for me, but I enjoyed it while it lasted. And... I'm waiting for the next State Fair to have it again. Yes, I'm already mentally in-line for GI Joe: The Cobra Strikes Back!

The movie is way, way over the top. But just when you think it can't possibly be any more mock-serious, or use a cheesier line, or be more campy, they up the ante. Just when you think, "They aren't really going to go there" they do, indeed, gleefully go there. If you're 8 or 12, the lunacy can indeed be taken seriously. If you're 38 (and know the characters), you enjoy the sheer madcap fun of the craziness. I added that caveat about knowing the characters because the movie is so light and fluffy, so quickly paced through such a silly plot, that it spends no real time introducing the characters for the benefit of non-geeks in the audience. You have to be ready to buy into the Joe Universe from the moment the movie starts.

No spoilers here folks. I waited until Sunday just so I wouldn't influence any opinions. Let me know: Did you enjoy your taste of chocolate-covered bacon on a stick?

Best Damn Day Ever on io9

Actually, make that two days... Here's a sample of things brought up on the blog io9 over the past 48 hours...

Iron Man 2 spoilers...
The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy anniversary...
Lovecraftian horrors as art installations...
Japanese giant monster movies...
Woody Harrelson's zombie movie...
Dollhouse...
Tron and Tron Legacy...
Crop Circles and UFOs...
The NEW Ernst Stavro Blofeld rumored to appear in the next James Bond movie...
An Alien prequel...
What to avoid when you write your next techno thriller...
Space Pirates...
Vampires...

If you aren't already readin io9 I can't imagine why. They have something for everyone. io9 is listed in my blog roll on the left hand side of the screen.

Ray Park Speaks!

Hisstank.com has published a few words from Ray Park on playing Snake Eyes in Gi Joe: The Rise of Cobra. It's buried about halfway down this article after Di Bonaventura's rambling about the GI Joe submarine and the hassle of naming it.

The most startling -- even scary -- revelation is that Snake Eyes will add a bit of breakdancing to his duel with Storm Shadow. Park calls this an homage to Snake Eyes... I'm guessing from the cartoon. I don't recall Snake Eyes II: Electric Boogaloo being part of the comics, but maybe I've just blocked the horror from my memory.

Park discusses how fighting with "katana swords" is sort of his style. Funny, I don't recall too many katana being used in wushu... He's really excited about the bladed tonfa. (Must... resist... pedantic... urge... to point out... Tonfa... ugh... aren't a ninja weapon... Aiiiieeee!!!) And don't believe him for a minute that Storm Shadow "just" uses swords. I have an inkling about this bit of misdirection; which is also a sort of homage...

All kidding aside, I expect the martial arts sequences to be among the best parts of the film. Hopefully they will make up for the dreadful drek like watching Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) hit on Scarlett (Rachel Nichols) for no good reason related to the plot or mythology.

Tron Legacy Trailer

Disney recently released the trailer for the sequel to 80's classic virtual reality film, Tron. Tron Legacy is due out in 2011.

Sideshow Toys: GI Joe's Duke

Sideshow Toys recently put their latest GI Joe 12" Action Figure on pre-order. This is Duke, GI Joe's First Sergeant.

When I think about you...

My friend Dan, of Dan Dorman on Film, recently brought up a film (which will remain nameless) basically designed around making teenage girls' private parts tingle. I joked with him about the movie that first made me tingly. And now, I share that moment with you...

I tried to find a film of the scene. I'm sure it's out there somewhere, but... I think this is fun the way it is... Enjoy.

How to be a Ninja (on a budget)

So you think you want to be a ninja? How does one do that? Well, there are a few options available. Review these suggestions.

God Bless the Warchowski Brothers

Before reading any further, understand that back in the 80's... I actually paid to see Michael Dudikoff's American Ninja in the theater.

The metaphorical body hasn't even hit the floor yet on GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra and I'm already looking forward to the next wave of the New Ninja Boom: Ninja Assassin, brought to you by the Warchowski Brothers. This is a modern-day story and re-hashes the basic plot of orphan trained to be the premier assassin in a clan of assassins, but now on the run from his adopted family. Mayhem ensues.

Let me emphasize something at this point: MAYHEM ENSUES! Even the crew refers to this as a "strange side project."

This is not high drama. It is not art. It is -- I kid you not -- the reappearance of Sho Kosugi in a ninja movie. Don't hate on Sho Kosugi. It's an excuse to kick people in the face, and then disembowel them with a katana in the name of good, clean fun.

Yeah. I have a strange idea of fun...

More running.

Run, Rachel. Run some more...

And why can't I stop wishing Snake Eyes would come in and deck the Wayans brother for:
a.) Messing with his woman;
b.) Being all "rico suave"; and
c.) Being a Wayans.

Whoa.

No.

Seriously, whoa.

This is one of those things you just can't believe is real.

And you wish it wasn't real.

Whoa.

Well, wouldn't you know it? Query the interTubes and you tend to get some answers... There's production rumors on Wikipedia, of all places, regarding the Captain America movie. It seems the current thinking is that it will be set entirely in World War II.

Viral Video

So how does this young generation test multi-million dollar military equipment?

Check out this video showcasing the way the Delta 6 Accelerator Suit enhances the natural abilities of the wearer. You have to wonder if Tony Stark is thinking about suing for intellectual property infringement.

Avengers Assemble

I'm kinda a Captain America Fan. Not in the sense that I have all the comic books back to the days of my youth. Except for the Red Skull, and by extension, Hydra, I can't name a single villain in Cap's rogues' gallery. And I'm blissfully ignorant of the late-Seventies -- or was it early-Eighties? -- television show.


I'm really a fan of Captain America, icon. I have a poster of the above image in my cubicle at work. It's gotten a few nods of approval, even from those who would normally disdain a grown man having anything to do with superheroes in a professional environment. Such is the power of the Captain America image. At least as much as Superman, Cap is a big, blue, boy scout. Everything he stands for gets summed up in his look.

Which is why I wonder what they can possibly be thinking in producing a Captain America movie. Last year's Iron Man was just the opening salvo in Marvel Studio's planned Avengers series. This was teased with a post-credits scene in which Samuel L. Jackson, playing Marvel Universe super-spy/badass Nick Fury, invites Tony Stark to discuss the "Avengers Initiative." Then Tony Stark showed up in The Incredible Hulk. Iron Man 2 is in production now... And The Mighty Thor is in pre-production with no less than Kenneth Branagh directing. The "capper" if you will, will be a Captain America movie in 2011 or 2012 before shoehorning all the actors/egos into an Avengers movie.

I thought Iron Man was pretty good movie. It was not (Dan, this is aimed at you) Oscar material. But Robert Downey Jr. was perfect as Tony Stark and everyone looked like they were having a great time. This was the opposite of The Dark Knight, which was a fantastic movie, but everyone on screen looked like they were suffering from existential exhaustion. It's no wonder Heath Ledger imploded, and Christian Bale has exploded on several occasions since.

But expectations for Iron Man were low. It was easy to be surprised. The Incredible Hulk was a dud. We'll have to see if Iron Man was lightning in a bottle when the sequel comes out next year. And since all indications are that The Mighty Thor will include all the "forsooths" and "verily", and other pseudo-Shakespearean dialogue the book was known for... well, my expectations for that are low too.

But Captain America... Cap is about what brings us together. He's all our better angels personified. He's about, in the word's of Bruce Springsteen singing about the flag, "certain things are set in stone / who we are/ what we'll do / and what we won't." A Captain America movie better be released on 4th of July weekend (as GI Joe should've been... but then again, we're stuck with UN Joe), it better make my heart beat fast, bring a tear to my eye, and remind me why I'm proud to be an American.

What story do they tell? Will Cap seem relevant, or a preachy afterthought? Can you even make a movie that will do Cap justice, or will he just seem like a laughable, hopelessly naive, old fashioned boob? Can they stick to the origin story setting him firmly as one of the Greatest Generation, or will he be "improved", "modernized", and "rebooted?" If ever there was a time when we needed a Captain America movie, it was in the year or two after 9/11. But to release such a movie ten years after the event is to be several years to late. I guess we'll see... But Cap deserves the best possible effort.

What you talkin' 'bout, Holmes?

For those of you intrigued by my post on the Sherlock Holmes movie to be released this Christmas season, I want to provide the trailer. Here's the link to the YouTube site.

If you think Sherlock Holmes is slow, ponderous and too intellectual for you... think again.

No Milk Jug is Safe Now!

Well, it's finally done. I've had the plans for a tameshigiri target stand for several years now, but I never got around to using them. I started to gather the materials a couple of times, but ran into some problems finding the right sizes. I also didn't think I had the right equipment to do the job.

I was right. But a co-worker volunteered to help with the project. He had the woodworking experience and equipment, and also the interest in having the finished product. So together we made two of these things.

Tameshigiri is the practice of cutting objects with a sword. In older times, these objects were the bodies of criminals -- sometimes dead, sometimes still alive. Traditional sword arts maintaining the practice of tameshigiri use rolled tatami mats as targets now. The dowel peg visible in the top shot holds a mat upright. Mats make good targets as the resistance is very similar to a human limb without all the politically incorrect gore.

As per usual, the Bujinkan (at least the American Bujinkan) does things somewhat differently and manages to annoy the traditional arts while doing so. We'll cut tatami mats when we can, but we'll also cut foam pool noodles, milk jugs, and plastic two-liter bottles. You can fill the jugs and bottles with water for stability. (Just be sure to do a thorough clean-up of your blade before it gets put away.) Some curious members have even been known to buy roasts and try cutting through actual meat and bone. This sends the traditionalists into fits.

Let me just say this about cutting plastic bottles: they come cheap and I can still recycle the cut parts. It's green; even Al Gore will approve.

I put a small table top of scrap wood on top one of my pegs to hold milk jugs and bottles. I plan to put a similar table top on a longer dowel in order to vary the target height.

This is a view of the three-inch hole for the peg. The three-inch hole is sufficient to hold the stuff in place.

I was going to link you to the plans. However, it appears the company has removed them from their website in favor of finished stands for about $95. You'll not it looks prettier than mine -- but mine was about a third of the cost. Maybe I'll work up the gumption to reprint some version of the original plans on this site at a later date.

Walter Cronkite

Dead. And that's the way it is.