LXG 20th Century

I'm sure many of you are already aware of Alan Moore's incredible League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comics series.  No, not the movie (which was pretty crappy except for the marvelous appearance of Peta Wilson as Mina Harker, Vampiress).  The comic series.

 

The concept is that Moore smashes up Victorian and Edwardian literary genres and characters into a wacky, somewhat steampunk universe.  It works exceptionally well, with Mina Harker and Alan Quartermain leading Captain Nemo, My. Hyde and the Invisible Man against Professor Moriarty and Fu Manchu.  Other adventures see the bizarre heroes fighting the Martians in a war of the worlds by recruiting Dr. Moreau.  Weird, wonderfully weird.

 

But there's no reason to limit the concept to classic British Lit.  Others have cobbled together (one hesitates to announce these avengers "assembled") line-ups from other eras and transferred the action across the pond.

 

Behold, LXG 1988!

 

Lisa (the science genie from Weird Science), Angus MacGuyver, Doc Brown (super-genius from Back to the Future), BA Baracus (the A-Team's muscle and trained Ranger/Green Beret), and Jack Burton (truck driving adventurer and personally acquainted with weirdness from Big Trouble in Little China).

And check out LXG 1996: Edward Scissorhands (a biological experiement), Sarah Bailey (a young witch with knowledge of The Craft), Tequila Yuen ( a Hard Boiled, detective from Hong Kong with balletic ballistic skills), FBI Agent Dana Scully (fresh from her work on the X-Files), Zach Morris (another youngster with an uncanny ability to stop time, from Saved by the Bell), and the enigmatic Rufus (from Bill and Ted's excellent Adventure).

Even more fun than imagining the adventures of these teams is guessing about how their predecessors, remembered in portraits on the wall behind them, fared on their missions.  I'm desperate to know what kind of conversation Egon Spengler had with Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod as they traveled in KITT.

Avengers Blooper Gif.

Somedays, even the mighty Thunder God is a little bit clumsy.

Happy Birthday, Arnold Schwarzenneggar!

I'm so sorry, Arnold.  I completely failed to recognize your milestone birthday last week.  You turned 65!

Sixty-Five!!!

As a consolation, I present to everyone the Expendables 2 trailer. 

The Cost of Being Batman vs. The Cost of Cleaning Up Dirty Laundry...

On Friday, one of the most anticipated movies of the year -- nay, the decade -- will be released.  We will all finally know how Director Christopher Nolan, and his co-writer and brother Jonathon Nolan, will conclude their epic version of Batman's story.  This is, they promise: The End.

I'm a huge Batman movie geek.  The various incarnations of Batman on film reflect their times.  This was the story of Batman for the Post-9/11 world.  It was a complicated, scary, violent, costly, harrowing story.  But it was cathartic for the audience.

But at it's heart, the story weaved all the familiar elements from the Batman comic books into the mix.  Bruce Wayne, billionaire playboy was still the behind the mask; and Batman fought crime with an arsenal of, as a great man once put it, "wonderful toys."

The Gawker blog, io9, posted a summary of one group's calculations about what it would cost to be Batman.  Bottomline?  Well, according to them: $2.8 million.  They also calculate the Wayne fortune at $11.6 billion (yes, that's with a "b").  Which means it ain't cheap to be Batman, but he can afford it.

We could nitpick the cost a bit.  You have to wonder if they figured in the cost of keeping it all secret such as using cut-out companies to buy, manufacture, and ship goods; research and development; hush money for those who must know; routine maintenance; etc.  Being Batman can't possibly be a two or three person operation.  Although I'm sure Wayne goes to certain efforts to keep certain support personnel from knowing what they're really doing. 

But does it really cost that much to clean-up the streets?  I mean, what if you went bargain basement?  Say you had a teeny-tiny budget?  Just what would you get, and how effective would it be?  What if you had a one-person operation?  What if you even had to do your own #Dirtylaundry?

Huh.  That looked like it cost less than $25 a day!  Seems pretty cost effective to me.  Frank even got the locals to pitch in and help.  I have to wonder if the Bodega owner even really charged him for the bottle of Jack.

Marvel Studios: Guardians of the Galaxy

Okay, I've got to admit, I'm a little leery about the marketability of this one...  Marvel Studios announced recently, and then pushed at Comic-Con, they would be making a movie of their Guardians of the Galaxy property.

The what?  Unless you're a major Comic Nerd (and I say that lovingly...) you probably never heard of this team.  That's a potentially brilliant move on Marvel's part.  There's no baggage -- just pure storytelling possibility.  They are banking totally on the brand recognition they've built during what they call "Phase 1" which consisted of Iron Man through The Avengers.  There is no doubt in my mind that people will go see this movie.

But the risk is that the movie is bad.  I mean horribly bad.  It stars a Raccoon for Odin's sake...  But Marvel has made five hits (I'm not counting The Incredible Hulk) that a.) pleased the geeks, and b.) convinced non-fans to put their butts in the seats.  If it is bad, people will probably forgive them.  Especially if Iron Man 3 is satisfying.  (Which is different from saying it's "good" though not necessarily exclusive.)

But I don't think it will be bad.  I think it will be something new that people haven't seen before.  How often do we get that in a movie these days?  New, certainly, but wrapped in the warm familiarity of a Disney/Marvel brand.  Besides, they've made five hits.  Consider the fan buzz about Friday's release of The Dark Knight Rises:

"But what if it's bad?"
"What?  Are you kidding?  This is Christopher Nolan!"
"But it's the third in a trilogy...  What if it's bad?"
"Have you been watching Christopher Nolan's movies?  Name a bad one."
"Ummm..."
"Exactly."
"But what if it's bad?"
"Then I'll be disappointed and wait anxiously for the next Christopher Nolan movie."

I don't think Marvel will make a bad Guardians of the Galaxy movie; this is a calculated move on their part and essential to Phase 2.  (BTW, do you hear geeks grousing too much now about The Incredible Hulk???  No?  Point made: fans get over a miss, especially if the story recovers.)  I think they know what they're doing.

And I remember the Rocket Raccoon mini-series back in the '80's.  It was pretty good and he was a better character than you might think.

Ironclad!

Medieval siege action starring Paul Giamatti as the evil King, and the ever reliable James Purefoy as a Knight Templar determined to hold the castle.

Iron Man 3 Images

Uh, yeah.  That says AIM: Advanced Idea Mechanics.

UPDATE: A better view of the sign.

Meanwhile, it looks like the Iron Patriot armor is in the movie.  Which is weird, because Norman Osborn can't be in the Avengers movies.

"I got some roots of Retaliation right here..."

Okay, the weirdness surrounding GI Joe: Retaliation continues to grow.  One of the reasons released for pushing the movie back to next March is that the relationship between Roadblock and Duke (The Rock and Channing Tatum) tested so well with audiences that the studio wanted to add more of it in.  (It was also assumed this meant revising the script so Duke doesn't die.)

But...

Channing Tatum says he hasn't been contacted and knows nothing about any reshoots

"I don't know. Truly, I haven't seen the movie. I did my part and then all this stuff is going on, so they haven't come to talk to me about anything. They talk about a lot of stuff; who knows if it's the industry or the actual studio? You never know."

Happy Birthday, Christopher Lee!

I'm sure the fact you have played Vampire Lord Dracula, Sith Lord Count Dooku, and dark wizard Saruman has nothing to do with the fact you're 90 years young.

He's to the right side of the album cover.  I swear...

Moviefone compiled a list of awesome things about Christopher Lee that is well worth reading.

A couple of my favorites?

36. He's the only member of the "Lords of the Ring" film production to actually meet J.R.R. Tolkien.

38. He received Tolkien's blessing to play Gandalf if there was ever a film adaptation.  [Whoops!]

47. Throughout his career, he has starred as, Mephistopheles, the Grand Master of the Knights Templar, the founder of Pakistan and voiced both the Jabberwocky dragon and Death itself.

GI Joe: Retaliation release date is now...

I know better than anyone that GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra was a "disappointment" to the fans.  But rather than dwell on the downside (Can anyone really explain to me the purpose of putting the nanobot warheads in the particle accelerator was?), I chose to focus on the positive: Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow had an epic duel, and Sienna Miller looked hot as a brunette with glasses.

I was more than a little surprised to learn they were pressing ahead with a sequel/reboot, but I rejoiced that one of the most influential franchises of my childhood was being given a second chance.

I even got excited when the movie actually didn't look half-bad.  Bruce Willis was in it.  The Rock was in an action role I was interested in seeing.  (Please, Rock, don't ever dress up as the Tooth Fairy again...)  They got Ray Park and the Korean Guy who's name I can't spell to come back as Snak Eyes and Storm Shadow.  Ray Stevenson was playing Firefly.

This looked like fun to me.  I even had people who didn't bother with the first iteration tell me this looked like a GI Joe movie they would go see.

But all that was before The Avengers released.  Three weeks on top of the box office, in May, plus good reviews is huge.  I mean it won't win an Oscar, but it has raked in the cash and that's THE most important thing in Hollywood.

So if you're a studio with a team-based franchise movie about to be released, you can't be blamed for looking at that success and trying to figure out how to capture a little of that lightning.  But at this point, what can you do?

Convert your movie to 3D, of course.  Obviously that was the secret to The Avengers' success.  (To be fair, an honest case can be made that The Avengers made $1B partly because 3D and IMAX tickets are more expensive)  So that's what's being done to GI Joe.  But conversion takes time, and that means we need to bump the release date of the movie just a teensy bit.

GI Joe: Retaliation will now hit screens in March, 2013.

You read that correctly, folks.  I couldn't believe it either.  Here's some proof:

http://www.deadline.com/2012/05/g-i-joe-retaliation-moving-to-march-2012-to-add-3d-for-bigger-foreign-box-office/

http://io9.com/5912819/gi-joe-retaliation-pushed-back-to-march-2013-for-3d-conversion-cripes


It's not the 3D.  It's the fact that this Summer has become obviously crowded: The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, Prometheus, Brave, even The Expendables 2.  Assuming for the moment that GI Joe is good (and I know that's a big assumption) it was not going to pull in the kinds of numbers those movies will.  John Carter tanked, Dark Shadows bombed, the numbers look horrible for Battleship...  This Summer people are still going to the movies, but they will go to the quality product and they will do it over and over again.

There's also the fact that Channing Tatum is starring in a movie about male strippers called Magic Mike that will be released this Summer too.  I'm sure that unintentional cross-promotion didn't help.  Nor the news that Tatum was a stripper in an earlier career.

Of course, it's also likely the movie sucks...

Make the pain stop!

Streets of Fire: Nowhere Fast!

Whew!

There Can Be Only One?

Rumors of a Highlander reboot have been circulating for years now.  In theory, this is a reboot I could get behind.  Do the story right, planning a trilogy form the beginning.  Of course, there are some long odds on this working...

But here's the latest bit of rumor: Ryan Reynolds may be the lead.  I can't decide if this is a good thing or not.  What do you all think?

I could see this if they go in a slightly different direction and make the story as much a Romance as it is an Action film.

BTW, I'm convinced the real important point here is to make the swordfighting a centerpiece.  It not only has to look good, there should be authentic styles, and clever staging.  Rehash the hack-and-slash and it's a cheap grab at cashing in on the original idea.

Keep Calm and Call Coulson

Dear Joss;

Curse your sudden, but inevitable, betrayal!

Countdown to the Avengers: Thor's Day!

Countdown to the Avengers: Wednesday

GI Joe: Retaliation

So while I am eagerly awaiting the release of The Avengers, there is another classic comic book team I can't wait to see this summer.

I'm talking, of course, of the reboot/sequel GI Joe movie.  I hope this one manages to strike the balance a little more on the gritty side than the last one did.  I made peace with the fact that the GI Joe franchise was always more than the comic book and the cartoon was silly (e.g. Cobra-La?  Cold Slither?).  Why shouldn't the movie play both ends?  But the first movie was a little too silly for my taste.  And it messed with some of the relationships between the characters.  That...  I had serious problems with.

Anyway, this movie seems to go back to what made GI Joe so great: action; big, honkin' guns; and hot ninja-on-ninja action.  It also adds heaping amounts of The Rock and Bruce Willis.

Please, for the love of God: Don't suck, GI Joe: Retaliation.

Countdown to the Avengers: Tuesday

Please don't kill Agent Coulson, Joss!

This is Awesome! Ironclad

James Purefoy is becoming my "Go To Guy" for swashbuckling action.  The only real trouble is that his most awesome movies don't seem to get wide release here in the States.

Here he plays a Knight Templar defending a siege.  An awesome Templar.  And an awesome siege.

And there's an awesome sword.

Arn: The Knight Templar