Spetsnaz...

Thank goodness the Cold War is over and the Russians are our friends now.

What's that? The news? No, I haven't really been watching the international news why? I'm sorry, did you say "the Father of All Bombs?"

It's not the Russian bombs that worry me... It's the commandos...

Now, I'm no expert on the modern Russian military, but I know enough to provide an overview of this interesting bunch. "Spetsnaz" is an inclusive term tha is a Russian acronym of two words roughly translating as "Special Purpose." An equivalent term for us in the West might be "SWAT." Many different units in the Russian military, law enforcement, and intelligence organizations carry the designator "Spetsnaz." There is no single "Spetsnaz" unit. Some Spetsnaz units are covert, black ops types like our own Delta or SEALs. Others are assault formations like our Rangers. Others are police teams with paramilitary roles. These aren't just SWAT teams, but whole battalions of civil troops deployed as border patrols or riot police, or anti-terror squads.

What they all share is an ability to blow stuff up and the lack of subtlty that is a Russian hallmark. Most Spetsnaz feel a sledgehammer will do, even if a scalpel might be ideal.

From deep in the Cold War emerges a tradition of presenting Spetsnaz as bezerk supermen and brutal thugs with extensive training. As with any legend there is some truth to some stories... but how much truth, and which stories?

Reportedly, the Spetsnaz are all issued a very solid entrenching tool and are taught to use this mini-shovel for all kinds of survival purposes. Graduation in this educational block comes when the Spetsnaz soldier is dumped into a pit with wild dogs with only his e-tool for defense. Either the man or the dogs leave the pit.

Spetsnaz are said to be martial arts masters of secret traditional Russian techniques of unarmed combat: Sambo, and a little something known today as "Systema." Plenty of propaganda photos of high-kicking Russiand, and board-breaking stunts exist. Since the tearing down of the Berlin Wall, a slew of Russian Emigres have opened martial arts schools in the West claiming to share these once secret techniques.

Did you miss something this summer?

I know what it was.

You needed a decent lightsaber duel.

Or maybe two.

The Human Weapon

I've been enjoying the History Channel series, "The Human Weapon." Anyone else been watching? I dig how the hosts will travel around a country learning about all the different variations on an art. It's a cool way to bring history together with modern arts.

Rogue

Every normal man must be
tempted at times to spit
on his hands, hoist the
Black Flag and begin to
slit throats.

-- H.L. Mencken

Megaforce, Baby!

Despite official denial by leaders of the free world, sources now confirm the existence of Megaforce, a phantom army of super elite fighting men whose weapons are the most powerful science can devise.

Their mission... to preserve freedom and justice battling the forces of tyranny and evil in every corner of the globe.

See recently declassified footage of Megaforce training and missions here and here.

This footage is from an unidentified unit that may or may not be related to Megaforce.

This footage comes from the maritime unit seconded to Megaforce.

This you have to watch VERY closely -- maybe twice. But it captures the essence of what it means to be REAL Megaforce.

Fashionista Megaforce.

This you only need to see once -- but don't you dare tell these guys they aren't Megaforce.

Jason Statham, and the Last Action Hero

Entertainment Weekly ran a festure article this week on English he-man, Jason Statham. I'm betting that while this actor may still hae too low a profile inside Hollywood, most of my readers have seen one of Mr. Statham's movies: Transporter, Transporter 2, Crank, and are waiting for the chance to see his newest -- War, with Jet Li.

The EW article made no bones about the fact that Mr. Statham is hungry to be the next big Action Hero; just like we had back in the glory days of the 1980's. Mr. Statham himself sees parallels between his ambitions and a certain Governator of California...

Most exciting was the news that the producers of the GI Joe movie are considering Mr. Statham for a role in their movie. Who could it be? No word. But my money is on my hero and role model: Snake Eyes. And since Jet Li's name has been linked to Storm Shadow over the years, that means War may be a preview for the brotherhood of GI Joe fanboys. Of course, Mr. Statham may, in fact, take a page from Ahh-nold's playbook and play the villain. He could just as easily be the Scottish arms dealer, Destro. After all, he's got the abs to show off in that ridiculous V-neck outfit. The women will swoon.

Fanboy Fave: Kristin Bell

"I was burning."

CNN...

Click above for the full story, and yes, the horrible pictures...

Back in January, a five-year old boy named Youssif was playing outside in his hometown of Baghdad. His mother was inside and upstairs when she heard a commotion outside. Fearing the worst, she ran down to her front door to check on her son.

She got the worst... Youssif was aflame like a candle.

Miraculously, the child survived. But Youssif's once beautiful face is now horribly scarred.

He remembers the attack and describes how masked men pounced upon him at random, doused him in gasoline, and set him ablaze before running down the street. And he understands exactly what happened. "I was burning," he says. The masked men have not been caught. No one -- it seems -- knows who they are.

War is -- it goes without saying -- hell. People end up in the wrong place, and innocents do get killed. But this... This is beyond the pale. This wasn't an accident. This may not have even been intended as a message; since no one has claimed credit. This was pure evil of the kind rarely seen in Iraq since Saddam's reign.

I realize that the mood of the country is shifting to bring our troops home sooner rather than later. Leaving our men and women in harm's way is hardly a palatable option. But what happened to Youssif is only a taste of what will follow our withdrawal from Iraq. There will be killing fields in Iraq. Youssif, alone for now with his scars, will not stay alone in the wake of a hasty departure of American forces. He will have plenty of company.

This
is why
we fight...

And this is why we fight them there... rather than here.

Random Ronin

A Tribute to Maxim Magazine

God bless America!

High Fashion

Morale Patches are an unofficial military tradition that has exploded in the past few years. The trend has been helped along by the increase in Private Military Conctractors who aren't subject to the same rules about uniform wear, and the Army's increased use of velcro on uniforms and equipment. It's real easy now for grunts to peel off an offending patch before someone in the chain of command spots the unapproved item.

Above is a selection of common morale patches. As you can see there is a patch for every mood and sentiment. Some are in good taste, while others are risque.

First In, Last Out?

Ever since I can remember, there has been a military recruiting depot on the mainstreet of my hometown: Army, Navy, and Marine Corps. (For the record, I know where the Coast Guard recruiter is in the vicinity, but not the Air Force recruiter.)

About two years ago, I noticed a few protestors liked to gather outside the Marine recruiter with anti-war signs and shout slogans against the current administration. They were real vocal during the summer, and even cynced-up their small protests with the weekly gathering of Marine recruits. The Marines like to get the kids in shape before they arrive at Parris Island, so they do group PT for the kids while they await their induction date. The protestors tried to disrupt the training, but the Marine recruiters kept smiling while they urged their kids to do more pull-ups, or push-ups, or sit-ups. Knowing a few Marines, I suspect they got a perverse joy out of exercising in full view of the protestors.

Eventually, the Winter months came, and the protestors diappeared, but the Marines didn't. Funny thing that.

But, about two months ago, I noticed the Marines and the Army were no longer occupying the storefronts they'd used as offices for over 30 years. Only the Navy remained. One month ago, I noticed that the Marines had posted two identical billboards on either side of town.

The signs say "We don't accept applications, only COMMITMENTS." There's a portrait of a Marine NCO in full dress blues staring out at the viewer, too.

My daughter was looking one billboard over one day and asked me who that man was. "He's a Marine, sweety. He keeps us safe."

I don't know why, but I feel a little funny about the change. Billboards aren't the same thing... Especially for an elite force that prides itself on being the first in and the last out. I miss those Marines.

Hard Training

I like to think I take my training seriously. My scheduled training includes three martial arts classes each week. One of those is a double-length session. Three mornings out of each week, I get up at 5:30 am and go for a mile run. There's also at least ten minutes a day in which I do push-ups and sit-ups. I have unscheduled training too... I walk up stairs at work rather than take an elevator. I concentrate on my walking; which means I'm concious of my posture, balance and body movement. And I try to take advantage of other opportunities to practice some skill -- even if that means sneaking up on somebody.

Now, I think that counts as taking training "seriously," but that doesn't necessarily mean it's "Hard" training. Oh, sometimes a "hard" session is mixed into my regular martial arts classes unexpectedly. But, realistically, my training isn't consistently "hard."

But then, as I've said before in this blog... I'm not a shoot-and-looter or First Tier operator. My fitness training is for health maintenance, and to stay ahead of the average shlub. Those are my most likely enemies.

But I do need to keep in mind that somewhere, someone is training harder than I am, and if we meet... If we compete... I will lose.

Take for instance the young man I saw running along the side of the road last Sunday (after posting my blog entries). Nothing special about that you say?

Try this on for size... It was 90 degrees with high humidity. The young man was double timing it down the side of bare blacktop, choking in the exhaust of passing cars, and dressed in BDU pants, and wearing a full size ALICS pack sagging from added weight. He did not look like the average jogger; because he wasn't the average jogger.

He was prepping for Ranger School.

How can I be sure? Well, I can be pretty sure, because I've seen it before. The first time was (way) back in college. My roommate, a ROTC cadet, put between 60 to 75 pounds of dead weight in his ruck sack, dressed in his BDU pants, and pulled on his most broken -in pair of jungle boots before disappearing into the Appalachian foothills for hours of roadmarch. He went to Ranger School the same summer he graduated -- while most of our class was still hanging out at the beach chasing bikinis and sipping fruity drinks.

A few years later, I saw another young man hustling down the road outside my hometown wearing BDUs, and bent over under a heavy ruck. He was wearing jogging shoes -- they'd changed the rules you see. Too many good candidates were washing out with leg and foot injuries from all those marches in combat boots.

Last week marks the third Ranger candidate I've seen prepping for the notoriously tough Army school. There's an Army base not too far away, but it isn't staffed with any combat arms soldiers, so we don't have all that many potential Rangers training in my hometown. I'd guess the two I've seen are either National Guard infantrymen, or home on leave and being consistent with their training. I'm sure some towns near infantry bases see plenty of these kids hoofing it down the road under their loads, but we're not one of them.

God bless these kids. Not only have they volunteered for some of the toughest training in the military, but they are preparing for it with little outside support. It's real easy to slow down the pace, or skip a day, or choose to play video games instead of do a solo roadmarch with extra weight. How conspicuous do you think these kids feel in their distinctive uniform and giant backpack? Despite the camouflage, these kids aren't blending into the background like most joggers.

And what's the reward for this self-torture? A little sliver of black and gold cloth, and an annotation in a personnel file. Oh... and pride.

My best wishes to the kid I saw last weekend. God bless you and keep you as you strive for your goal.

The Bionic Woman -- Michelle Ryan

British TV star Michelle Ryan steps into the titanium sneakers (or is that "trainers?") of Linsey Wagner to play Jaime Summers, the Bionic Woman, in a remake of the classic Seventies TV series premiering this Fall.

Greetings again, true believers!

I've been remiss in my posting lately. While this is often considered the kiss of death for bloggers, I see it as a sign that I am out there living experiences, training hard, and learning new things to share with you all rather than typing away my time in front of a cathode ray tube.

Here's the latest in Japanese knife fighting videos on YouTube.

Kusari Fundo

Kusari Fundo is a weighted chain about as long as your forearm.

These are training ropes used in place of a real chain.

The weapon is sometimes known by other names, including manrikigusari.

Harry Potter...

Well, by now -- if you care -- you know how it all ends. And then you have to come to grips with the fact that there will be no more Harry Potter books.

None.

It's over.

I've never read one. But as a recovering bookseller, I sure sold my share of the damn things over the years. For "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," I worked the midnight shift and then turned around a scant four hours later to open the store and make sure everything went smoothly.

So as a former bookseller, I have my own opinions on the topic of Harry Potter and his influence on childhood reading. Unfortunately, some book critic got around to expressing them in last Sunday's Washington Post. So, I can't swear all of these thoughts are 100% original to me.

Now, as a commercial bookseller, I liked it anytime we could move mega-quantities of books. But as a booklover, I'm not so sure Harry had the impact on kid's reading that it is sometimes claimed to have. I know it is fashionable to say that Harry Potter introduced millions of children to the pleasures of reading. I don't buy it. "Deathly Hallows" had the largest printing in the history of the world -- hundreds of thousands were sold to vendors, and by next week, I'm sure only a few thousand of this first printing will be left on all the store shelves of America. (BTW, if you're trying to get a copy in the next few days... Don't go to a "Bookstore." Try Toys R Us, or a Target, Wal-Mart, or other place that sells books, but not as it's mainline.) But do those kinds of sales mean that all of those Harry Potter fans will be running back to the pick up another 800 page novel? Probably not.

I dealt with hundreds of customers over the years who had finished all the Potter books. "What else is there, you know, like Harry Potter?" Now this is a great question for a bookseller. It gives us an opportunity to share wonderful series with customers. Depending on the age and apparent interests, I recommended The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lord of the Rings, His Dark Materials, Spiderwick Chronicles, Neil Gaiman's output, Tim Powers' novels, "Jonathon Strange and Mr. Norrell," "The Prestige," Jim Butcher's Dreden Files... There is no shortage of marvelous books for a Harry Potter fan to dive into, no matter how old or young. But often, the customer would read the coverflap or back cover copy, shake his or her head, and leave the book behind (usually in a pile I had to reshelve, but that's a different gripe).

All those kids who stayed up all weekend to finish an 800 page book? Just two months ago, they wandered into the same bookstore with a summer reading list.

Now, the ritual of selling the summer reading list is familiar to any veteran bookseller. Teenager walks up to the information desk and asks for a particular title (BTW, getting the title right is optional). The bookseller directs the teenager's attention to a table clearly labeled "Summer Reading List" usually no more than five feet from the desk, and clearly visible from the front door. The teenager looks at the table vacantly until the bookseller walks the shlub to the table. The teenager purses his or her lips while looking over the books for a pretty one. Then the book is picked up, and the teenager flips quickly to the last page to see what page number it is... "Are they any shorter ones?" will be asked. Typically, the length of a book will be the determining factor in the decision to purchase one. Rarely will the bookseller be solicited for input, and more rare still will the teenage customer bother to review the backcover copy to find a story that is particularly interesting. And these are the kids responsible enough to come into the store in the first place.

Yeah, Harry Potter really prepared these kids for a love of reading.

Has the fantastic adventure of Harry Potter opened the doors to new worlds for his adult readers? No, in fact, I'd say that by industry standards and measure, adults are even worse. Pull up any major Bestseller list. It's mostly potboiler trash. The bestseller lists are dominated by the same handfull of authors, churning out the same tepid thriller plots or non-fiction self-help books. Harry Potter was probably the last time a decent novel was recommended by word of mouth (by a mouth other than Oprah's) all the way onto the bestseller list. Go to any gathering of mid-list authors and you will hear the same complants about how the publishing industry is shrinking. Publishers will tell authors that they are always looking for the next big thing, but they push more of the same old tired plots, and they put their advertising dollars behind the major authors (who at this point really shouldn't need the help).

So, if you are really depressed that Harry Potter's journey is finished, I have some advice on what to do while you wait for the next movie... Explore the fantastical world of your bookstore, preferably a locally owned one. Wander into past the bestseller stacks deep into the shelves. Make time to spend a good hour browsing the shelves of a fiction section that appeals to you. And promise yourself that you will walk out with a title that you have never heard of before, and no one has recommended to you. It should be a book that gives you the sense that it wants to be read. You might find that you find your own personal Hogwarts and start a magical journey of your own.


Geez, Harry, you need to be a little more megaforce and a little less obvious...

Sayoc Kali

Ok, now this guy is a megaforce all by himself...

My recent posting of pekiti tirsia kali videos got a lot of positive feedback, so I'm going to post some more links to clips of Sayoc Kali (or, as I hear, just "Sayoc" now).

Sayoc is a Filipino Martial Art (or, FMA) emphasizing the use of bladed weapons.

Now, the video quality sucks... I can't do much about that. Often it doesn't look "pretty." Sayoc has a pretty good knife fighting reputation.

I also can't explain why so many of these Sayoc guys are lardos... Maybe they were too fat to take up Tae Kwon Do?

Ok, ok, ok. Here are some bonuses for those of you (Sky Ninja? MLK?) who were disappointed with the Sayoc. Oh, and did I tell you guys that I started competing in MMA matches? I sure did, here's a video of my very first match! The good news is, I win! I'm so megaforce, baby.

Lacey Chabert

That's right. More tasteful cheesecake.

If you have a problem with pictures of pretty girls, then you definitely ain't mageforce, baby!

Are you megaforce, baby?

"Ninja" Weapons

If you've seen a Sho Kosugi ninja movia, then you're familiar with the idea that ninja were sneaky blokes who hid weapons all over their bodies and sometimes disguised them in everyday objects. But what many people don't realize is that the samurai had a touch of sneakiness about them also.

Don't believe me? Well, here's a video showing a small collection of "secret" samurai weapons. It doesn't even scratch the surface of the small items samurai carried around to commit mayhem. If you're interested in learning more about these tools (and what that "cigarette case" really is), I can recommend this book by Serge Mol.

The Bourne Ultimatum...

About the same time that Pierce Brosnan's Bond films began to suffer from the same, tired, over-inflated, megalomania that sunk the franchise under Roger Moore, somebody had the slightly crazy idea to cast Matt "Mr. Babyface" Damon as Jason Bourne in a film loosely based on the Bourne books by Robert Ludlum.

The original Bourne books have a Seventies-chic, ponderous plot, but the producers and director stripped down the plot to the bare ideas: man wakes up with amnesia, discovers very slowly that he is a trained assassin, and his former employers are out to get him. They also had a pretty simple rule about action: all live stunts, no CGI. The hallmark of the Bourne movies is grit. It's tempting to say that all of the action in these movies is realistic; but that's still a stretch. It is far more realistic than the Bond movies, or the Cruise-tastic Mission: Impossible films.

The Bourne films are favorites among martial arts fans for the well-choreographed fights. Everyone still talks about how Bourne beat up a guy with a rolled-up magazine; but lets not forget how he stabbed a guy in the hand with a ballpoint pen, or strangled somebody with an electric cord.

This Summer sees the last of the original Bourne titles used: The Bourne Ultimatum. In this one, Bourne meets his maker (so to speak). It's one of the few films I'm putting on my must-see list this year.

Bonus: THIS is just plain scary...

The Kit Fox

"I am the Kit Fox
I live in uncertainty
If there is anything difficult
If there is anything dangerous to do
That is mine"

-- Song of the Kit Fox Society, a warrior lodge of the Lakota Sioux.

Parkour

What is... Parkour?

Sometimes called "freerunning," you will probably be most familiar with the concept if you've seen Casino Royale.

Remember the crazy bombmaker in Africa who leads Bond on a merry chase out of a mongoose/cobra fight through a construction site, and into a foreign embassy? Parkour.

It's French. (Like Savate.) And it is acrobatic. (Like Savate.) And it looks "goofy-cool." (Like Savate.) [Ok, that last one includes a little gem called "le canne." French stick fighting technique based on fencing movements. But that's a topic for another day. BTW, consider the speed being utilized in the Savate and Le Canne. FAST!]

I don't suggest you try parkour at home, or if you are over the age of 25. Too hard on your lower joints. You'll be needing those later. Stay home, watch a nice movie.

Loch Ness Monster Caught on film!

Unfortunately, this isn't the film in question... However, this is the BBC story on YouTube. The BBC doesn't usually air these stories, but the film is of pretty good quality and shows an "anomoly."

And for those who want the best footage EVER! Although this is pretty cool too...

This, on the other hand, is the only real footage we can be sure of...

Is this the end of Tony Soprano?

Sadly, it seems to be. Tony fades to black...

Meadow lives!!!!!

Kukishinden Ryu

This is a mash-up of various other videos, but there's some kinda cool stuff buried in here. Kukishinden Ryu is this year's training theme in the Bujinkan. This video shows the first set of unarmed combat techniques.

Great Moments in Ninja History #1998

Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go!

"Boo-Gin-kin"

Sigh...

For some reason, this snippet has become quite controversial on the Web. Apparently, the lookie-loos are disappointed in Dale's exhibition of technique. I've seen plenty worse... Plenty. (Most often in a mirror, but not always...)

The Ultimate Chuck Norris Facts!

Here.

The Emperor's Phone Call

Funny!

Isla Fisher