Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Col. Nicholas Fury, Agent of SHIELD
Happy Birthday to Me!
Occam's Broadsword proudly celebrates its first year in operation!
Thanks for sticking with the weirdness. There have been a few dryspells from time to time, but I've been striving to bring you only the best stream of conciousness JRF possible.
So let's look forward to another year of crank conspiracy theories, wacky historical notes, martial arts, tasteful cheesecake, manly beefcake, comic books, movies, TV shows, action figures, WH40K, making fun of Tom Cruise, and of course: Tan Like the Desert Sky.
I may not be the Drudge Report, Fedblog, Wonkette, or any of the A-list blogs, but I'll keeo serving my niche with gusto!
Sunday, April 09, 2006
The Airship Flap of 1897
This was really big news back in the day. The government took it seriously. People were talking about it at home, in their workplaces, at dinners. Noted experts on science and technology, like Thomas Edison, were consulted. But it has been mostly forgotten in the hundred plus years because, well, most of the sightings were hoaxes, and human memory is short. Do any of us really think that our grandchildren are going to be taught the OJ Simpson murder trial? No way, not when their teachers will be hardpressed to include 9/11 in their curriculums. (It always disturbed me that none of my high school history courses seemed to have time to tell me who won the Second World War. ** OK. Except for an elective I took, but how many of my classmates graduated without being able to name the Axis powers?)
Anyway, lacking terms like "airplane," "flying saucer," and "blimp," the public stuck on the Edwardian term "airship." Now, before you go thinking that this was some misapplication of the would "ship" to the same phenomena we would call UFOs and describe as interstellar space craft today, you have to understand how weird this story gets. The descriptions of the objects were often pretty exact, and while they do describe derrigibles pretty closely, these were not "space ship-like" objects in the least. The airships were rather ornately designed and made blimp-like objects with fishy fins, batty wings, carved wood furniture, paddle-wheel-type fans, all kinds of craziness.
Also, as the story grew, a few reports of a mysterious inventor appeared, who was jealously guarding his secret in order to get it to the Patent Office after his "flight tests." One California attorney even stepped forward claiming to represent the inventor. In addition, there were stories of the airships landing and the pilots interacting with locals. In one case asking for some "lubricating oil, cold chisels, and bluestone." (Bluestone happens to be the predominant rock type in Stonehenge monuments, but whether or not that is in any way related is your guess.)
There was only one report that a crashed airship was from Mars. This happened in Aurora, Texas. The mystery pilot was buried (at least, according to the story) and his location was known until investigators, real newspaper reporters, went looking for him in the 1970's. The cemetery claimed they had meticulous records, and had no record of a John Doe related to this incident. However, the story surfaced that someone had exhumed the body and moved the gravestone.
So what is the likely truth? Was there a mysterious airship inventor? Well, in this case, the possibility isn't 100% impossible, but it is against the odds. What we do know is that the world was a very different place back then. Newspapers in the 1890s were known for enlivening slow newsdays with the kinds of distant wire reports we today only see in the Weekly World News. Telegraph operators use to entertain each other by making up outlandish stories to pass back and forth between each other, and sometimes these bogus stories were mistaken -- or intentionally passed off -- for real news. Maybe there was a kernel of truth to a few of these wild reports, but few have any hard evidence to attach to them. And we also know that no inventor, or his attorney, ever did file a related patent for an airship. At least, not in the United States...
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
The Emperor Protects!
After 120 days, the Bolter and Chainsword is back online! Praise the Emperor!
This is what they had to say about their catastrophe:
"For those that don't know, the B&C server suffered a catastrophic melt down on Dec. 13th 2005. This wiped out the board AND our backups. We had to go to an old offsite backup up to recover as best as possible...this was from Sept. 7th 2005. SADLY THIS MEANS ANYONE WHO REGISTERED AFTER SEPT 7th 2005 WILL HAVE TO REREGISTER.The new server was rebuilt and ready to go the first week of January (we were still getting 8k hits to the server even after 3 months of being down). Unfortunately a configuration issue lead to the software not being able to be installed. The back and forth with the software folks resulted in 3 months of downtime until finally...this past weekend things were all good to go and we started reskinning.Good news is we now have TWO servers. One for the board (and our future plans) and one for backups. This will be in addition to monthly offsite back ups...just in case something like this should happen again."
The B&C is THE go-to source for all your WH40K Space Marine needs, and was sorely missed by those of us who paint those addictive little superhumans. Welcome back, B&C, welcome back.
Forgive me, Father. I am but a worm...
I just have to share my delight in receiving my long awaited Kurgan action figure from Sideshow Toys.
The mighty villain from the first (but lamentably, not the only) Highlander movie stands an impressive 13 inches tall. He comes dressed in faux black leather and is equipped with his imposing double-edged broadsword.
The headsculpt is accurate for actor Clancy Brown, but the grimace makes this film fan realize how much acting Mr. Brown really did with his expressions. One of the great things about the Kurgan was his absolute glee in doing his dirty work. Here was a villain who relished his job! He smiled much more often than he snarled.
My complaints are minor: The Sideshow exclusive version's extra was the decapitated head of the Immortal Moor, Kasimir. I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing for the movie's signature trick, the briefcase containing the break down longsword. (Sure, it was unrealistic from a swordmaking point of view, but it was a great visual gag!) The uncovered right arm looks a little scrawny with all the joints exposed.
Yes, action figure collectors are all aflutter waiting for the full-battle armor version of the figure.
All in all, a great addition to the jrf collection. Now, I'll need to be on the lookout for some 1/6 scale nuns for him to menace...
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Down the hallway. Third door on the left...
Scientific Experiments Gone Horribly Wrong!
Is it any wonder that the story of the "Philadelphia Experiment" began to circulate? (Note the similarity of name with the Manhattan Project.)
While the story of the Philadelphia Experiment is not directly related to nuclear weapons, it is clearly a manifestation of the anxiety caused by harnessing risky energies using the cutting edge of scientific research.
According to the story, the Navy outfitted a destroyer escort, USS Eldridge (Eldritch, anyone?), with an experiemental power generator (according to some version, built on plans from Nikola Tesla's drawing board) to test the capability of rendering a ship invisible. The first test was a qualified success in that the ship was replaced by a green fog. The equipment was recalibrated for a second test. During this second attempt, the ship disappeared from the Philadelphia Naval Yard in a blinding flash of blue light and was reportedly seen off the coast of Norfolk, VA, before returning in the same mysterious fashion to Philadelphia. Since uncontrolled teleportation made the Navy nervous, they apparently gave up the experiment at this point.
The story continues in the 1960's, when certain unexplained documents pertaining to the incident were mailed to the Office of Naval Research. These documents were annotated by two commentators with an unusual use of EnGliSH CapITALizatIOn and Punc.Tua;))tion.! The story revealed in the documents and notes elaborated on the effects of the experiment upon the ship's crew members.
It seems that sudden teleportation was not without some risk. Some crewman were fused with mechanical equipment. Others emerged deformed. Some appeared normal, but later manifested psychic or superhuman powers. (Keep in mind that this particular mutation of the story comes at a time when the consequences of certain real activities -- exposing hundreds of Army troops to nuclear tests -- were becoming known. You can see how the anxiety emerges in the folklore.)
After that, the mainstream conspiracy theory of the Philadelphia Experiement begins to branch. It became caught up with novels, "non-fiction" books, movies, TV specials, you name it. These stories fed on each other, and borrowed liberally from other sources. The Philadelphia Experiment has been a self-titled movie, mentioned on the X-Files, and elements of the story were lifted for this season's failed series Threshold. The Sci-Fi Channel series, "The Triangle" blames the Bermuda Triangle mystery on forces unleashed by the Philadelphia Experiment.
Proof that this was too good a conspiracy theory is that it spawned a spin-off called the Montauk Project (again, note the similarity in name to Manhattan Project). In this story, the government closed up the original experiment following the failures and continued the research at an underground facility on Montauk in New York state. You want wacky? This is wacky.
The Montauk Project succeeded in stabilizing the "electromagnetic bottle" that enveloped the Eldridge. This technology lead to breakthroughs in teleportation and the construction of a Time Tunnel device. Now, government agents could be transported to any point in history. It was even used to "capture" the Eldridge in the midst of the original experiment and trap it in hyperspace. During this incident, two sailors supposedly jumped ship and found themselves in 1982, some 40 years distant from their loved ones. This story was used as the basis for the movie. Of course, the time tunnel was also used to contact space aliens -- who helpfully shared their technology to enhance the Montauk Project. And let's not forget the giant monster that was somehow sucked through the device and rampaged through the facility.
(I have to mention that Time Tunnel was a sci-fi TV series brought to you by Irwin Allen, the same genius who gave us Lost in Space. It would have been on TV at roughly the same time the actual project was occurring. Either this was exceptionally sloppy, or exceptionally brilliant security -- depending on your conspiracy worldview.)
There's not one shred of hard evidence for the truth of any of the above. It strains credibility. There's plenty of evidence to the contrary. Proponents of this far-fetched idea insist that all eyewitnesses (and there had to be hundreds of people involved over the course of decades) are:
a.) loyal conspirators, b.) falsly discredited as cranks, c.) dead from natural or human causes, or d.) brainwashed to forget. It's a great story, nontheless. And the paranoia is fascinating.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Airsoft
At some point in training, every martial artist is taught a few nifty gun disarms. These are almost always prefaced by the standard words from sensei about "Only try this in the most life-threatening situations." Usually, the disarming movements are taught with a simple mock-up. When I started my training -- many years ago -- the state of the art was a pistol shaped chunk o'wood. Some forward thinkers used lightweight toy pistols. Nowadays, we can choose from a variety of plastic guns made to more realistic designs and weights. I have a couple of ASP red guns which nicely mimic weapons I am frequently around.
While these are nice, they still don't go bang. Enter Airsoft pistols. These little Asian imports are made to resemble every real firearm in existence. They use a bit of compressed air to shoot a 6mm bb with just enough oomph to sting you (or put out an eye if you don't use goggles -- so use care and goggles). I cheap model can be had for as little as $19.95. What's nice about these is that in disarm training, you can actually have your assailant pull the trigger. This adds an urgency to your movement and teaches you the real limitations of handgun disarm techniques.
It isn't perfect. For one, the person performing the disarm has to be careful not to break the shooter's finger when the weapon is peeled out of the hand. Second, the secondary effects of close-range gunshots (light, noise, heat flash, and shock wave) are not accounted for bor the little poof of air. But it can make you think different about your super-human martial arts abilities.
I also own a repeater airsoft pistol to practice basic marksmanship skills in my own house. It's much cheaper in time and money than going to the range everyday to maintain those deadly point and shoot abilities. I can practice my presentation, sight picture, breath control, and trigger press. The airsoft also lets me practice magazine changing drills and reholstering. Again, it isn't exactly the same as a real pistol, but it's pretty damn close. And it's convenient. For those of us how don't have ammo budgets larger than the Marine Corps, or the ability to bulletproof our basements, it's a reasonable alternative and adjunct to live fire range time.
I know this may be heresy to professional gunfighters. But I'm not a pro gunslinger. I take my training where I can fit it in. And really, is a quality airsoft pistol any less than the modern equivalent to a bokken?
Military Morons
Run by a self-confessed "wanna-be" the site grew from an airsoft freak with more cash than common sense to a tipping-point website of gear reviews. Many of the new and innovative tactical gear companies actually send this guy equipment to "test" (mostly for fit and comfort) and review. If he pronounces something cool, then it has instant cachet in the world of tactical geeks. And he tends to be right about the "cool" factor.
If you fall into the group that thinks Military Morons is neat (for whatever reason) you should know about the two grand-daddy tactical gear firms: Blackhawk (which happens to be running a sale) and Eagle Industries. There are plenty of other manufacturers: London Bridge, Tactical Tailor, Spec Ops Brand, and Maxpedition to name a few. In our current age, when the soccer mom drives her brood to practice in a Hummer, there is something undeniably cool about stuffing your brown bag lunch and work portfolio into a tough-as-nails Coyote Brown Three Day Assault Pack.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Training Uniform
Fictional Lives
One of the most popular is Schrute-Space, by Dwight Schrute, a character on The Office. It's even spun off a MySpace.com entry.
There's also Barney Stinson, of How I Met Your Mother, with Barney's Blog. He offers bad dating advice. If you like that kind of thing, let me know: I can offer plety here.
If you're into conspiracy theories and freaky aliens, there's always Dave, the kooky brother-in-law on Invasion, with his Dave's Diatribe.
Sadly, the only computer available to the castaways of Lost is a 1980's era junker. And they've been warned not to use it for anything other than entering those freaky numbers. So, no one will be checking out Kate or Ana-Lucia's blog any time soon. Of course, we're also spared Sawyer's and Eko's blogs. However, there are sites for the freaky Dharma Initiative and Hanzo Foundation (unfortunately, the Hanso site seems to be down).
Here are some other Lost websites you might be interested in.
Favorite Artists: Frank Cho
Teutonic Knights
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Pint Size Elektra!
Go Ninja!
Gonna rock the town without bein’ seen
Have you ever seen a turtle
Get Down? --
Slammin’ Jammin’ to the new swing sound
Yeah, everybody let’s move --
Vanilla is here with the new Jack Groove
Gonna rock, and roll this place --
With the power of the ninja turtle bass
Iceman, ya know I’m not playin’ --
Devistate the show while the turtles are sayin:
Chorus:
Ninja, Ninja, RAP! Ninja, Ninja, RAP!
GO GO GO
Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
Go Ninja, Go Ninja. GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
GO GO GO GO
Lyrics, fill in the gap --
Drop that bass and get the NINJA RAP
Feel it, if you know what I mean --
Give it up for those heroes in green
Just flowin, smooth with the power --
Kickin’ it up, hour after hour
Cause in this life there’s only one winner --
You better aim good so you can hit the center
In it to win it, with a team of four --
Ninja Turtles that you gotta adore it’s the:
Chorus:
Ninja, Ninja, RAP! Ninja, Ninja, RAP!
GO GO GO
Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
Go Ninja, Go Ninja. GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
GO GO GO GO
Villians, you better run and hide --
Because one day you might not slide
Choose your weapon but don’t slip --
Vanilla’s in control with the flex of the mic grip
Rockin’ the crowd the way it should be rocked --
With the Miami drop that you like alot
Hittin like a Ninja Turtle when the bass kicks in --
You better check your level
The power of the Ninja is strong --
Fightin’ all the crooks until they’re all out cold
Tell me the story, tell me the legend
Tell me the tales of war
Tell me just one time,
What it was like before
Bring me the feeling, right in that moment
When a heart for battle cries
Find me the treasure where the legend lies.
If I were a noble ancient knight
I’d stand by jour side to rule and fight
It will always feel the same
When I call out your name.
Ninja survive, in dreams I walk by your side
Ninja survive, with you there’s no need to hide.
A handful of sayings are more than a reason
For me to feel this way
I’d like to be near you
Maybe for just one day
So tell me the legend, tell me the story
Tell me the tales of war
Tell me just one time
What it was like before.
Well, I never claimed to have taste...