Kris Cutlery: a plug for quality swords

Here's a nod to an often overlooked company making superb quality martial arts weapons: Kris Cutlery.

Kris specializes in authentic Filipino weapons: bolos, barongs, kris, karambits, etc. While there are many reproductions of these interesting edged weapons out there, Kris Cutlery puts a premium on mixing tradition and quality in equal amounts.

Kris also has a respectable array of Japanese weapons. The emphasis in this line has been more on durability and quality, with historical authenticity being a secondary consideration. Their weapons however, are very, very well made. Anyone looking for a katana to use for actual cutting practice would be well advised to consider a Kris Cutlery sword as an option.

There have worked towards producing more visually accurate katanas and their newest top-of-the-line sword is comparable to many other company's offerings. I own a Kris Cutlery Tanto II (see the first picture), which is an aikuchi mounted knife. It is a superb piece with an accurate traditional blade shape with a visible hamon temper line. There are only a few production knives of this style, and fewer of this quality.
Kris does have two other assortments; a Chinese sword line and a line of European weapons. The Chinese swords look very good and all of the major blade shapes are well represented. The European swords range is more limited but includes Celtic leaf swords, a Roman Gladius, and a High Middle Ages long sword. This last line should maintain the same quality of workmanship, but is severely lacking in variety. Still, this shouldn't be a black mark against the company. Kris Cutlery has so many excellent pieces, I could hardly expect them to provide a full assortment of Western reproduction weapons as well.

I am the Viper!

It seems the federal government has decided to expand the role of air marshals to cover other interstate travel. Who knows, maybe someday you'll have your very own air marshal everytime you drive your personally-owned vehicle across state lines...
Hey, these guys don't even have to stand up to do their jobs? What a bunch of slackers... ;-)

Royal Accomplishments

MSNBC had some suggestions about what Peter Jackson should do now that he has achieved the impossible, a good remake of a classic adventure movie, King Kong. If you have suggestions for Peter Jackson's next film project, feel free to post them -- But I'll go ballistic if I see one Anonymous post suggesting Jackson do a big-budget, special effects bonanza remake of Debbie Does Dallas.

Fake, Fake Ninja

Not long ago, I posted about several groups claiming to be ninja. Hopefully that helped sort out the real, fake ninja. But a few of you have been asking questions about fake, fake ninja.

So let's get straight on those ninja clans have never actually existed.

The Hand: This secretive, mystical group of assassin mercenaries first appeared in the Daredevil series of comic books. One of the Hand's best gimmicks was disintegrating into a puff of green smoke when they were killed. They were the invention of Comic Book genius, Frank Miller. They have since turned into the standard Marvel Universe ninja clan. Elektra Natchios is the main Hand trained ninja character, but Wolverine, Daredevil, and an assortment of other Marvel comics heroes have fought against, or trained with The Hand.

At the height of ninja-mania back in the Eighties, two artists created the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as a spoof of the explosion of ninja in comic books. Eastman and Laird riffed off The Hand, and created The Foot. This group of ninja, lead by the evil Shredder was bent on world domination. They never got very far, thanks to those Turtles.

Everyone here has learned about GI Joe's resident ninja clan -- the Arashikage. About two years into the comic book's run, writer Larry Hama introduced the ninja storyline. The series quickly turned into the saga of the sword brothers, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. The mythos grew slowly. At first, Hama didn't even know the Japanese translation of "Storm Shadow." A reader volunteered the information. Despite the shaky start, Hama did a pretty good job of coming up to speed in the research department. Although he borrowed liberlly from the ninja legends, not just history. Still, the main ninja inspiration for many in my generation.

The Japanese Manga series, Lone Wolf and Cub featured The Kurokawa ninja clan. These were the Shogun's spies, one third of the secret police who maintained order in Tokugawa Japan. The other branches were the Yagyu assassin samurai, and the Dai Kaishakunin executioner.

The main character, Itto Ogami, often fell into conflict with the Kurokawa. His greatest battle with them was against the Bentenrai brothers, experts with hand claws, warclub, and backhanded sword technique. Fortunately, this was a fight between professionals, and the last brother admired the splendid cut Itto used to finish him.

Although fictional, the Kurokawa were based on legends and rumors about the Tokugawa's gardeners being a corps of ninja sent on special missions. The Kurokawa were also the inspiration for Frank Miller to create The Hand.


The League of Shadows: Oh boy. Repeat after me -- "There are no ninja in Tibet." Actually, despit this gross inaccuracy, I rather enjoyed the portrayal of ninja in Batman Begins. They were cool.

Troy Redux

I saw the clunker Troy while home for Thanksgiving. My brother has this killer DVD collection, so I usually just wait to see what he's got rather than pay Blockbuster. I'm glad I didn''t spend any money on this one.


Troy wasn't terrible, just uninspired. And it really didn't do the origianl Homeric Epic any justice at all. I did think Brad Pitt's Achilles wasn't bad. He was a Heroic Age guided missile, and the first fight presented him exactly as such. Agamemnon releases Achilles as a precision guided munition, and eliminates the opposing army's champion and ends the war in a single subclavian stab of shock and awe.

I thought that was an interesting modern interpretation of the character. Too bad he comes off as such a sullen, prissy boy second-guessing his purpose for most of the rest of the film. It's like a JADM Satellite Guided Bomb saying to the loader, "I know I'm purpose built to incinerate Saddam's underground bunker, but I'd rather be reading Jane Austen by the pool."

To be fair, the Iliad has Achilles sulking in his tent for much of the war precisely because he is a prima donna. But this film is so taken with the idea of using big budget effects to recreate the time and place, and having big name stars doing the heavy lifting, that the scriptwriters must not have been paid to provide any characterization. Achilles motivations remain fairly unclear beyond a rather standard: I'm doing it for fortune and glory.

OK, than why sit out the war? What does it matter if you think Agamemnon is a blowhard, so long as he gives you the chance to fight?


The film's answer is that the hardened Achilles has fallen in love with Briseis, a Trojan princess captured during his practically one-handed amphibious assault of the Trojan shore.

Unfortunately for Hollywood, some of us actually read the classics. Achilles was kind of a "man's man," if you know what I mean. Briseis was the sticking point in the Achilles/Agamemnon alliance in the book, but it was an argument over chattel, not love. Achilles was in a long-term relationship with his cousin Patroclus.

So when the film's rote chronology eventually reaches the point when Hector accidentally kills Patroclus, the audience is left to wonder why Achilles is so beside himself with grief that he stops the entire war to challenge Hector and hold 12 days of games. (This last pronouncement is especially jarring to modern sensibilities.)

They tried. They really did. The movie looks good. The actors are all pretty. The Classical "kung fu" fights are pretty good. The source material is first rate epic stuff. But it clunks. You can hear the film sputter and cough underneath the shiny hood.

Stuff like this still has the power to spark the imagination. But it simply doesn't translate to modern media. Two hours and change is no way to present the Iliad. CG generated armies are nice, but can't hold a candle to the spectacle of Troy's myriad of Asiatic allies mustering in the mind's eys while reading the verse.

Yes, You Actually Can Own Jessica Alba!

Sorry, boys. While I wouldn't lie about something as important as this, I don't mean you can take home the real thing. (Unless you're really, really charming.) So wipe up that drool.
You can have sweet and demure Jessica as Invisible Woman from Fantastic 4.
Or raunchy Jessica as Nancy the law student stripper from Sin City.
Nancy is available in Film Noir black and white or color versions.
So if you were still wondering what to ask for for Christmas, I'm sure you can still find these available on Ebay.

Pat Morita

It is with true sadness that I report the passing of Noriyuki "Pat" Morita.

I know, I know. Most of you probably have an inner cringe when you remember how cool The Karate Kid seemed way back when. But come on... Admit it: you genuinely liked it. This was an inspirational movie. It was like those young adult books your middle school English teacher assigned for book reports. You didn't want to admit to anyone that you liked the book, but you did.

And a large part of the reason we all liked the movie was Pat Morita's iconic -- if stereotypical -- Mr. Miyagi. Sure the film is somewhat predictable, but it is solid story telling with likable characters and compelling values. The "wax on, wax off" line may have become a frat house joke. And the undefeatable Crane Stance is a visual cliche. But none of that matters when you go back and watch this film. It sucks you in. You care about these people. You believe this story could happen. And we all wish Mr. Miyagi was someone we knew; because he's cool by being uncool.

This is the kind of movie you want to share with your kids. And I intend to do just that when my daughter is old enough.


Sayonara, Miyagi-San. Domo arigato gazaimasu.

Ignite Templar Action Figure Review

I've had my Knight Templar from Ignite Toys for about a year now. I love it. In fact, I'm thinking about picking up their Knight Hospitaller figure too. The detail on the Templar is astounding. Follow along, and you'll see what I mean.
Here's what you get in you box. The figure is already fully dressed. He's dressed in layers that aren't readily apparent until you examine the genuine article. He's wearing a mail hauberk and laeggings, with a mail coif. The mail is actually fabric, but the visual scale effect is superb. His hauberk is edged in faux leather, and underneath he is wearing an undercoat gambeson to pad his body against the mail.

Over his armor is the Templar surcoat with the large emblazoned red cross centered on the chest. I was pleased that Ignite got the cross type correct. Templars did not use the pointed Maltese cross, which was in fact used mostly by the Knights Hospitaller. There is a great deal of controversy about exactly what type of cross was used at what time, but this pattern with the flaired ends is widely recognized as being in use by the Order. The other controversy about the cross has to do with how it was worn. Some records indicate a smaller cross worn over the heart, but this would have been obscured in battle by the shield held against the left side of the body. Also, "small" is a subjective term. Although we don't know if the centered cross is 100% accurate, it is at least universally recognizable.

The figure's head is well-sculpted and painted. He actually has a cloth headpiece underneath the mail coif to protect his scalp. His helmet is a simple, riveted Norman style without a nose piece. This would've been somewhat unusual for the era, which was moving toward greater facial protection, not less, but not unheard of.

You'll note the beard. Shaving was actually the norm for most Frankish nobles. They were a vain bunch, and shaving made them appear younger. There may have been a hygiene component to the practice too. Military men would've been happy to give lice and vermin one less place to hide. However, Templars were required to grow beards as a sign of masculine power to the Muslims, who regarded clean shaven men as sissies.
Here's a good shot of the sword and sword belt. Also note how good the mail mitten looks close-up. The sword belt is wonderful. It's more accurate than belt and frog I have for my own 12th Century-style broadsword. It's a little more ornate than I would've expected for a Poor Knight of the Temple of Solomon, but not too far off the mark. A nitpicker might ask if the sword is in the appropriate time, it appears to be a sword from the High Middle Ages, but you really have to know your swords and be looking super close to notice that kind of detail.
Strangely, the knight comes with a battle axe. Axes were fairly common as a Crusader weapon, but were used mostly by foot soldiers. This Templar is recognizable as a true knight by his white surcoat. He would've fought mostly from horseback, and should be have a lance as his primary weapon. However, since no horse is included, maybe he's besieging a Saracen castle and like the axe for close encounters.
The shield is gorgeous. (The photographer has positioned the arm wrong here. The figure's holding it upside-down.) This a back view showing the enarmes straps for the warrior to grasp the shield, and the guige strap to wear it between fights. There is also a padding strip to cushion blows against the arm. This padding was common, but not universal.
This is the escutcheon of the shield, showing the Red Cross of the Order. Again, there's controversy about the device displayed on the Templar shields. We're fairly certain there was more-or-less uniformity, but uniformity of what we don't know. It may have been crosses. It might also have been a black band across the top with a white field below -- or vice versa. Confused?
All in all, a great figure with a high level of authenticity.

Training Knives

Still trying to decide what to get that martial arts enthusiast on your Holiday Shopping List? Allow me to suggest a training knife. Training knives come in a variety of styles, sizes, shapes, materials, and uses. Most training knives merely need to simulate the look and shape of a sharp cutting object so the empty hand traditionalist can learn to avoid and disarm an attacker. (I'm snickering because it's no-where near as easy as it sounds.) Other knives more closely mirror their live steel counterparts so they can be used by armed martial artists to learn how to manipulate a knife as a weapon of offense and defense.
I recommend several sources for training knives. Try:
Trainingblades.com, the Edges2 online store
Cold Steel
Keen Edge Knife Works
Sharkee

Melissa Joan Hart

Neo-Ninja

There are, depending on which reliable authorities you talk to, either no authentic ninjutsu traditions left in the world, or one extant authentic tradition, passed through Takamatsu Toshitsugu. Without getting into all the details here, I think there's plenty of evidence -- both internal and external -- to say that Takamatsu passed authentic ninjutsu techniques and teachings to his students, including his official successor, Masaaki Hatsumi.

But that hasn't stopped plenty of others from claiming ninja mastery (sorry, Tommy).



I think most martial arts enthusiasts have had a passing familairity with Ashida Kim, the most famous of all those who claim to be ninja grandmasters. His books are fairly laughable on the face, mixing Japanese history with Chinese kung fu terminology. Check out his website, in which he lays down a challenge to all those who doubt him. He will fight them anywhere, any time. All you have to do is fly him out, and pay him $10,000 up front -- non-refundable. You know what, I too will take all bona fide offers, but my fee is $100 Million up front, non-refundable even if I lose -- oh, plus any medical expenses. Why sell myself low?

There's also Konigun Ninjutsu. These guys are a "Christian" ninja group. I'm not exactly sure why that's important. This group too also seems to mix up their hoplogical history and mix Okinawan Kobudo weapons with Japanese weapons of the feudal period. Okinawan fighting systems are not the same as Japanese fighting systems. Neither samurai or ninja used sai -- I don't care what you see the Turtles using. Also, the Konigun rank system is a little funky; "Sashes" with titles like "bushi" and "samurai?" It's such an afront to Japanese martial history, I just don't know where to start complaining.

Finally there's Nindo Ryu; which at least doesn't pretend to be a true ninjutsu system. They are near the front of the pack of so-called "gendai ninjutsu" groups which claim to be "inspired by" traditional ninjutsu. These groups take other hand-to-hand combat systems and weapons systems and add a little combat/wilderness survival training, and who-knows what else to come up with a curriculum.

Ninjutsu is not just "karate plus (fill in blank)." Understanding that fact isn't easy for some people. Americans are part of a young country with a history of breaking from traditions to forge new ones. The current American culture is a robust juggernaut wearing blinders. It's sometimes hard for us to accept the sense, the wonder, and the use of tradition. By nature, we believe we can do better.

I don't want to come off as "holier than thou" on this topic. But I do think that the arrogance of others can sometimes illuminate the traps and pitfalls we all face on our paths.

Annabella Sciorra

Hospitallers

The Knights of the Hospital of St. John were a rival militant order of the Knights Templar. Though they were technically older than the Templars, they were originally only chartered to administer the Hospital of St. John in Jerusalem. It was not until the Templars combined the roles of warrior and monk that the Hospitallers took up arms on a professional basis.


I always thought I'd look better in black than white.